Gaea prophesied that Cronus’ children will overthrow him as he did to his father Uranus. Castrated and disgraced, Uranus vowed revenge on his youngest son. “Vengeance for it would come afterwards” (1). Cronus too had many children. With paranoia over the inheritance of his spirit, just barely out of Rhea’s womb, Cronus consumes his children.

Round and round I go, searching for God so below that I must eventually reach up high. I threw myself in the arms of another and another and luxuriated in the excess. Jumping from one bed to another, from each change of hand to another, it seems like the 6th card (2) was watching over me. Down in the belly of the world, God was materialism. Blessed are the black magicians who transform the world.

Blessed is me to be beatified by the fruits of the world, an Eve who takes the apple that’s already rotten. Decay is at the core of the world and I choose to rot in decadence. The artificiality of this reality only shows me the beauty of contrivance – the black magicians have the ability to construct and pervert our perceptions and power lies in selling half-truths and total lies.

Round and round I go, churning away into a downward spiral. I can feel myself physically deteriorate and my mind full of scorpions (3). When I got the diagnosis that I won’t live another 2 years, I knew time was my enemy. It was the same illness that took my mother. I sought God in the world, and I debased myself in excess to reach his divinity. But this is time’s vengeance on me trying to outrun it. In my last days, it doesn’t care whether I rectify myself or not, it’ll catch up with me.

Rhea secretly gave birth to Zeus in Crete and handed Cronus a stone wrapped in swaddling clothes. He thought it was his son, so he ate it. Once Zeus grew up, he used an emetic given by Gaia to force Cronus to disgorge his siblings. Eventually Zeus and his older siblings overthrew Cronus and the other Titans, who were then confined in Tartarus.

(1) Hesiod, Theogony
(2) Devil card in tarot.
(3) Shakespeare, Macbeth