About a week or two I had a nightmare and the settings were moments before nuclear warheads went off and the panic that ensued, the explosions, and the aftermath. I had it in my head that this was the conclusion of the Russia-Ukraine conflict despite having not kept up with it in weeks. I have dreamt of post-apocalyptic settings before as seen here,
But long gone are the halcyon days of urban, futuro-primitivism and in are the days of brute existence’s relentless and unceremonious gut punch. Something similar to this,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17LQnaaUTp8
The halcyon days that never were. Even after writing those journal entries, the ego’s schizophony still played its discordant music. I still have a way to go before I can harmonize the notes.
As for this dream I don’t know what to make of it and it’s been bothering me slightly. Lately I’ve been on an upward trajectory – I’m in a stable and loving relationship, I’m moving to a bigger city, starting a new job, becoming more focused and driven in my career, and new opportunities are opening up for me. Wherein lies the monkey wrench?
There are a couple of ways to interpret this dream but I wouldn’t know where to start.
I’ve always had a tendency towards self-destruction both in passive and active, and sometimes violent, ways. The cycle of numbness and the desire for intensification rears its head and this period of peace and stability is alien to me. It’s almost as if there’s a fear that I might go ‘nuclear’ and tear it all down. But I don’t want that, at least not consciously.
Another way to view this is my mind cleansing itself through immolation. Let the old edifices burn to the ground and may its embers nourish the soil. May the ghosts of these edifices be put to rest. Spectres of the past can no longer obstruct the future. I no longer inhabit retro-futures but journey towards futures where the ink hasn’t dried yet.
Eukratos Anomalia 